, ,

resolutionIt’s that time of year; that annoying time after Christmas but before New Year’s when we all have to think: are we going to make resolutions this year?  What are the odds that we are going to keep them?  And really, are any of them realistic?

I am sure you are aware that for most gyms it is the first quarter of the year that is their Black Friday.  It is the time when millions of people resolve to go to the gym, rush out to sign a membership thinking that paying a fee will make them less lazy, and pretty much fill the coffers of those same gyms without alternating the general dynamics of the place itself.  We are a people who are lazy, yet we offset that by the really cool idea of making plans and pretending that this year will be different.

I am lazy.  No way to get around that fact.  I would much rather be in the middle of a book than anywhere else in this world.  Sad but true fact.  Even when I make rather simple resolutions, I will follow them for a couple of weeks, possibly one or two months, then I give up.  I find something I would rather do; I look for an excuse and run with it.  I, like many, don’t actually admit to myself that the reason I am quitting something I resolved to do is lazy, instead I make rational arguments that probably could stand up in a court of law.  Really, I can completely justify all my laziness to not only myself but the world at large.

So, I have to spend the next couple of days wondering if I am going to make a resolution this year.  Am I going to lie and promise myself that I will work out a couple of days a week, will I promise myself that I am going to take better care of my skin, my hair, my outer package?  Will I promise to help my husband around the house more? Will I promise to push my intelligent son a little more?  Will I enroll my children in the activities that will broaden their minds, their bodies, and their abilities?  Or will I just give it up and sit at home?

I hate the idea that I am really lazy.  It sort of embarrasses me.  Who wants to admit that there are thousands of things I could be doing but am instead more interested in doing nothing?  And this goes so far that if I even make a resolution to read more biographies (for example) instead of all my romance novels, I will be to lazy – and in this instance – to cheap to actually go through with it.  I can’t even change what I am already doing.

Ah, but could I just say that possibly there is comfort in knowing exactly what I will be doing tomorrow and the next?  Isn’t there some sort of logic in being true to oneself over pushing oneself to be different from who we really are?  And how will a resolution truly change me, if I honestly don’t want to change?

But on the flip side, is there a possibility that I will change by creating a resolution? Maybe this year I will be that better person by simply following some small idea that I got in brain the day before New Year’s.  The conundrum!